“You’ve never really let on that you were struggling…” she seemed shocked when I told her that I’ve had to use a cane a few times recently to help with walking. Actually, they all seemed a bit surprised.
This comment came from a friend I see twice a year at a small scrapbooking retreat we do at a resort in New Hampshire. It was actually a compliment to me, I do try to just deal and live my life without burdening others with more than they really need or want to know about my invisible and very misunderstood illness.
It just is what it is and I don’t want to “sell” it to people; especially to those who don’t really know me very well… What would be the point? I certainly answer any questions if the topic comes up; I engage in the conversation but pay close attention to what the questions really are so I’ll know when it’s time to stop sharing because I have come to realize that there is a fine line between sharing your symptoms and complaining. I’d rather not be viewed as a complainer so I try to avoid that.
There are 5 of us here this weekend and yesterday I found myself alone for a few hours which turned out pretty nice. 2 of them went and met up with separate friends for a hike and some shopping, 2 took a bike ride together on some local trails here and I decided to bring a book to the hot tub.
When I got there, about 15 kids were finishing up a very loud birthday party (yeah that’s ok, I’ll wait…) I took a look in the gift shop for a few minutes and bought some super cute and cozy socks for way too much money.
Their lobby was freezing, I waited for 20 minutes and wondered how warm the hot tub would really be. Thankfully it was so hot… I loved it and it just warmed me right to the bone. I felt relaxed and warm for the rest of the day.
Back at our condo, I had been working on jewelry (yeah, scrapbooking is kind of a blanket term we use for artsy type projects). My friend and I decided to create some mixed media. It was my first time and so much fun and there’s really no rules. Start with a blank page and you kind of deliberately mess it up to create an interesting, beautiful piece of art… Very much like life only in a fraction of the time (because I don’t know about you but I’m not done with my life art work yet)
I had picked up a new full sativa cannabis strain called Blue Dream and tried it this weekend and I liked it as well as Chocolope. All in all, I felt great this weekend but just wish it didn’t go by so fast. Now coming fast a furious will be Thanksgiving, then Christmas… I swear the years are getting shorter as I grow older.
What can we do right? Just have to embrace life and enjoy it the best we can!
Have a happy day! XO